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The Perfect Partner

#19

it was quite interesting perusing through your site. I didnt realize just how much of an expert smoker I have really become. pretty much knew everything on here. However, We all have to start somewhere, and, yes, I have put my lips around the bowl of a lit bong whilst in a circle of 4-5 people. The instant pain of the burn, plus the smack around the back of the head and the constant ridiculing for the next few days whilst nursing some nasty blisters on my lips is enough to make anyone contemplate a life of drinking instead of smoking! ( after saying that, I think I was already drunk & stoned from the evenings events), but my story happened when I was a newlywed living in England with my new wife, who also likes to toke. :-).The Perfect Partner!!
Unfortunately, when stoned, she is not very 'careful'
We were living in not quite the best neighborhood in Birmingham, England where it is really easy to find anything you want. However, when things start getting expensive and you want more and more, you have to think of different ways to 'secure your supply'. So, I decided to try and grow a couple of my own plants. I got some seeds from some reeeaally nice skunk and soaked them thinking I would get one or two. I was amazed when about 15 of them sprouted their little tails. Not wanting to waste them, I bought some potting soil, pots and miracle-gro (tm) lol. I didnt have any lights and certainly couldnt afford any, so window sills became greenhouses.In England, most people have "net- curtains which diffuse the sunlight, whilst preventing people seeing in.
As time went on, I nurtured these plants, cared for them , cut off any male parts to eliminate pollenation if thats a word.My plants were awesome. The house smelt like a stray cats home, but I could pull off a bud, place it under the broiler to dry out and it would get me high even without it being cured. I was the happiest man in England.
Then one day, my wife decided to go into town, so she locked up the house, set the alarm and left for an afternoon of shopping.
I got home from work before her, went in the house and everything seemed in order, except for the yellow note that had been left on the dining table.It read:
At 3pm today, we received a report that your burglar alarm was sounding. When we arrived, the back door was ajar so we entered your home to check out the report and also to secure the property.We toured the property and we dont seem to see anything out of place or signs of broken entry or burglary.If you find anything is missing, please contact us..  blah blah blah....
There was no mention of plants or anything else, but they had to go! I loaded them in my van and took them to my brothers house where they were cultivated shortly after. I ended up with a tupperware bowl, abot 6 liters in size, absolutely packed to the brim with some of the best weed I have ever had. Unfortunately, I was to paranoid to keep it at home so I used to make daily visits to his house just to get MY weed. We soon decided to move to USA as this is my wifes native land.I smoked that stuff like it was going out of fashion and still didnt finish it all before we left. I gave my brother the remaining 2-3 oz the day I left for the airport, keeping just enough for the train and bus trip to the airport, at any stops we may make en route.When I got to the airport, I was nearly tripping I was so high. I had about 1/8 left and a metal pipe in my pocket. Then panic sets in. If you have ever noticed, there are NO trash cans at the airports in England, not even a gap behind the toilets where u can dispose of stuff. I guess it's an anti- terrorism thing. However, its no fun walking around an airport with this stuff on you and dogs walking around. I finally stuffed it down the back of a seat where, who knows, it still lays.
When I got to US, I discovered they do stupid stuff here, like 'pre-employment drug tests' What the fuck???
3 damn months before I was clear!! I stayed clean for about 9 months. Now, I buy it and my lips have fully recovered. Just a word of warning to everyone out there. Lock your doors, stay stoned and dont trust the wife. By the way, she also threw our passports in the trash while stoned. It's no fun going through a dumpster no matter what toxins you have consumed. 
Happy Toking all!  Rob.